Gain and Loss

This past week Melissa and I suffered what can only be termed “a loss.”  I use the word “loss” because to us that is what it is.  I’ll try to explain.

We have been sponsoring children through Compassion, International for over a decade now.  The first little boy we sponsored was from Mexico and his details, along with his picture, got our attention right away.  His father was in prison.  He was living with his mother.  The clothes he wore in his picture (at the time he was 4 going on 5) were obvious hand-me downs: big, baggy t-shirt; baggy, belted jeans; and over-sized, pink tennis shoes that had clearly belonged to an older sister.  We picked him up right away.

Over the years, though letters back and forth (written by my wife though with a little input now and then from me), we got to know Salvador.  He was a typical little boy who grew up over time into a typical teenage boy.  Sharp and self-assured, his dream as to play professional soccer like his hero, Cristiano Ronaldo of Real Madrid.   He played on the team at his project and they even advanced to the big tournament in Mexico City.  He ate, slept, and breathed everything soccer. 

But our understanding of who he was grew exponentially when we visited him and his family at their home in a town east of Mexico City.  Growing up I had known people who were poor.  Salvador and his family – his mother, two older sisters and one younger brother – were beyond poor.  They lived in two-room outbuilding at a relative’s house.  In one room they had a TV and beds, all arranged to make maximum use of the small space.  The other room was a dining room/kitchen/living room space.  Altogether, the total space couldn’t have been more than 250 square feet.  Behind their home was a canal, channeled between levees, that would make the Love Canal of the 1970’s look swimmable.

But in spite of this, he and his family lived.  He and his brother “raced” toy cars one chalk-drawn tracks.  They would play soccer with one of his sisters using a balled up piece of paper trash for the soccer ball.  Goals were marked by stones or bricks in the middle of the street.  They would go for walks.  Reading was another past time they engaged in.  This family had each other in much the same way that the Cratchets of A Christmas Carol had each other. 

So, when we visited them, and brought them gifts (including a 2010 World Cup style soccer ball, which was a huge hit), it had a great impact on them.  We were the special guests in their home.  The two boys were thoroughly enthralled by Angry Birds on my iPod.  We played a pick-up game of two-on-two soccer in the street that reminded me of the many pick-up games of American football in the street in front of my grandmother’s house.  Melissa raced cars with the boys.  And we talked at length with all of them. 

The highlight of the trip for all of us was a restaurant outing.  Melissa and I dropped what seemed like a fortune to them on food and desserts for all us.  Laughter at the table of 10 people brought smiles to the faces of the wait staff who were there.  We were just about the only business they had at the time.  The two boys ate so much sweets that I commented to their mom that they were going to be on another planet.  She laughed.  One of the girls loved the cherries on her cheesecake so much that she playfully snicked one from her mom. 

All in all it was an extraordinary day. 

Melissa and I learned so much about them and carried away so much that we planned to go back.

In the interim between then and the time we planned to go Salvador’s mom got ill.  Cancer.  She was receiving treatment and then one day she disappeared from his information.  Salvador didn’t say anything but we suspected.  For a year he never said anything about it and then he admitted his mother had died.  He just didn’t want to talk about it.  It felt like a losing a family member to us.

We planned to go back to Mexico this coming October, primarily to check in with Salvador and see how things were going.  That was until Monday of last week.

The church that operated the Compassion Project which Salvador attended quit running the project.  They just got tired of dealing with it. 

I cannot tell you how angry I was; how hurt I was; how greatly saddened I was.

And not just for myself and our loss but all the kids and all the other sponsors who were losing kids so abruptly.  No contact; a final letter could be sent; and then silence.  We will have no idea what becomes of Salvador unless he reaches out to us via the Internet.

The purpose of this is two-fold:  To write about it and get it out.  But also to encourage anyone who reads this to consider sponsoring a children through Compassion or World Vision.  And if you do, it will leave a lasting marking upon you.  Make no mistake.  It will.  And if you can, make the time to go visit your child.  It will mean so much more to them and you than could ever be imagined.  It is well worth the time and money invested.  I won’t say how many children we sponsor or how much it costs, just know that we sponsor several and for the past four years or so it accounted for a little over 10% of our income.  We didn’t attend church regularly because of Melissa’s med school and residency, so that was our tithe. 

But take the time to consider sponsoring a child through Compassion.  Look at the ones who have hearts by their names.  They’ve been waiting more than six months for a sponsor.  And consider even older children.  The little ones go quick at times because cute sells.  An early teenager is just at that age where a kind word from a caring person can nudge the path of their life noticeably. 

Believe me.  You’ll be glad you did and you’ll never be the same after you do.

http://www.compassion.com/

http://www.worldvision.org/